Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed.

Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.

Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. Turn this skiff around! The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene. Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. And guess what else is back. [slow wink] My breakfast? My friskiness. Mama horny Michael. I'll sacrifice anything for my children.

What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. Are you aware of this? Coming soon. Indeed. This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! So maybe you could start jete-ing, and stop je-terrorizing me! Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently.

A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties. Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. I'm not a prostitute. Michael: Then I shall let you live!

I may have committed some light treason. You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. A million [bleep]ing diamonds!

She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Daddy horny, Michael. Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. One for the ladies. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white… ♪♪

Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth. Tobias is Queen Mary. When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot." George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook.

Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain." Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acqusition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive.

Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel?