Never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup…baby, I got a stew goin'. The Army had half a day. WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! Friday night.

Annyong. See for more good stuff. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead!

I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball! Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! Fun and failure both start out the same way. Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter? Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. - Lucille Bluth. If mother sees this, she will blow a cow.

I'm not a prostitute. Then I shall let you live! Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! I made a huge tiny mistake. It's ok. You be with Yam. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. Teamocil.

Yeah, I invited her. You said you wanted to spend time some with her. You said I was being an Ann hog. I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing.

Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing.

Tobias Fünke costume. I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can. They don't allow you to have bees in here. What do you think about Sudden Valley? It sounds like a salad dressing, but for some reason I don't want to eat it. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body? Gob: I like to look in the mirror. Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day. Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar.

Go ahead, touch the cornballer. You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us. I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) Annyong.

I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep].

Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre. I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.