Yeah, I invited her. You said you wanted to spend time some with her. You said I was being an Ann hog. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. And guess what else is back. [slow wink] My breakfast? My friskiness. Mama horny Michael. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is.

After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? That's my son, you pothead!

I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine.

She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.

I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Hey campers!

I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. ♪♪ Big yellow joint, big yellow joint, I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint. ♪♪ You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn't eat that, did you?

Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I'm on the job. I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. He's going to be all right. Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough.

So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad.

Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. I see you've wasted no time in filling my seat hole. And I am rock steady. No more dizzies. Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. But I didn't take wasn't optimistic it could be done for an answer.

Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying.