That's my son, you pothead! Say goodbye to THESE! Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle. Perhaps an attic shall I seek. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up.

Great, now I'm gonna smell to high heaven like a tuna melt! You stay on top of her, Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine.

Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! And the soup of the day is bread. See for more good stuff. Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar. A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo. Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength?

Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. There's a new daddy in town. A discipline daddy. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. What, so the guy we are meeting with can't even grow his own hair? COME ON! Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we.

Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! Go ahead, touch the cornballer. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! Family Love Michael. This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. There are dozens of us! DOZENS!

It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways.

I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! What have we always said is the most important thing? Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. Hair up, glasses off.

I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Tobias is Queen Mary. What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!!

I don't appreciate the dry British humor. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? And THAT'S why you always leave a note. Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne.

A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. I [bleeped] the business model. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms. But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. He's going to be all right. That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut.