Even though so many people in this office are begging for it. Heyyyyy, hermano.

One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Hahahaha. Friend of mine from college. He also has a boat tho not called the Seaward. Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy.

In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk!

Oh, COME ON! A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo. Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies.

I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group? And the soup of the day is bread.

Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? It's Sunday, but screw it — juice box time. She calls it a Mayonegg. Don't call my escorts whores. I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much. Who? i just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of ann. Everybody dance NOW.

Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. Uncle Gob… was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times.

Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass. For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, can I walk free of pain. I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah!

Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh!