Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. No one's called him Baby Buster since high school. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Heart attack never stopped old big bear!

What, so the guy we are meeting with can't even grow his own hair? COME ON! Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. Touché, Pandora.

Friday night. NO TOUCHING! Talk you off what, Pop Pop? Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw. Michael: I'm sorry, have we met?

It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain." If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. But where did the lighter fluid come from? Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it?

The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can re-snare my mate. Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay.

Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo.

So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us. You can always tell a Milford man.

So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? Buster: It was a wild, wild ride. A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine.