Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag.

A Colombian cartel that WON'T kidnap and kill you. She calls it a mayonegg. It's one banana Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars? Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. I [bleeped] the business model. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms. No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar. NO TOUCHING!

Get rid of the Seaward. Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready. Everybody dance NOW. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. I made a huge tiny mistake.

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.

Do you have any idea how often you say the word afraid? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!! Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON. Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar.

They frame my junk. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you.

I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! Heyyyyy, hermano. Douche chill! I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. Daddy horny, Michael. Chickens don't clap! Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes.

I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. Probably out there without a flipper, swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family. You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. Let the great experiment begin! Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears.

Oh, COME ON! Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. You're blowing my mind, Frank. We all need to pick a day to try and make trend.

You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? If that man's straight, then I am sober.