Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well, then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! First I blow him, then I poke him. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It's just Mom and whores.

¡Soy loco por los Cornballs! Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. Hey, Dad. Look at you. You're a year older…and a year closer to death. Buster: Oh yeah, I guess that's kind of funny. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter? Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me.

I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship. I made a huge tiny mistake. No! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are! I know she's a brownish area! With points! And I love her!

Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. Pound is tic-tac-toe right? I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. You stay on top of her Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. It's Sunday, but screw it — juice box time.

I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! She calls it a mayonegg. And THAT'S why you always leave a note. Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. I hear the jury's still out on science. Are you at all concerned about an uprising?

I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw. You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. Also, your knee is on my heart.

No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best? I was hoping he would be gifted sexually. Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH! Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough.

Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is.

Michael, you are not quite the ladies man I had pictured. Hopefully, we will remedy that when we are in the spa spreading body chocolate on each other. It's one banana Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars? When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… Up yours, granny! You couldn't handle it! Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society.

You stay on top of her Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. Happy Franklin Friday. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking.