Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. It's Sunday, but screw it — juice box time. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. Heyyyyy, hermano.

For the same reason you should believe a hundred dollar bill is no more than a hundred pennies! If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship. But where did the lighter fluid come from? It was for me. I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.

Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals.

You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. Speaking of settling, how's Ann? And THAT'S why you always leave a note.

Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No.

She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. OH MY GOD, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE… sale. Oh, the burning! ♪♪ Amaaaaaaziiiing Graaaace ♪♪ It feels good to be back in a queen! I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain."

It's a wonderful restaurant! My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse. Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ? I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. It's one banana Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars? Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit.

Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! I didn't mean who… I meant… her? Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar. Ah, it is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear.

[sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." Annyong. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad?

Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. Am I in two thirds of a hospital room?