Fun and failure both start out the same way. ♪♪ It's The Final Countdown ♪♪

I call it Tricks –- wait for it – Around The Office. We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.) I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group? There are dozens of us! Dozens! Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. There's a girl in my soup! Today I learned this is a real place, tho more lush than the OC. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? I made a huge tiny mistake.

They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. Speaking of settling, how's Ann? I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block! If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold.

Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children.

It was for me. I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette. Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ? Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight.

It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! You burn down the storage unit? Oh, most definitely. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? Oh, COME ON! Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone.

You stay on top of her Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!" Way to plant, Ann!

If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd eat the inside of your ear. I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain." Happy Franklin Friday. Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse. Are you sure this isn't her sister? Mrs Veal: What a lovely thing to say. Michael: That's an awful thing to say. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw.

Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen.