You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk? There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook. It walked on my pillow! O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? I hear the jury's still out on science.

I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually.

And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth.

Dead Dove DO NOT EAT. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Heart attack never stopped old big bear. I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA? How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia?

Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen.

I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. Fun and failure both start out the same way. I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block! Absolutely. And we're going to be here every day. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. Let's see some bananas and nuts!

I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time.

Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. I didn't mean who… I meant… her? Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce.

I didn't mean who… I meant… her? This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No.

Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? ♪♪ And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight! ♪♪ I know she's a brownish area! With points! And I love her! Please refrain from Mayoneggs during this salmonella scare. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.