I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Also, your knee is on my heart. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass! There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up.

Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. I'M A MONSTER!!

You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet. Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. But where did the lighter fluid come from? I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) Are you at all concerned about an uprising?

If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!

If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. ¡Soy loco por los Cornballs! The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. He also said some things African American-y wasn't ready to hear. How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap? It walked on my pillow!

He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It's just Mom and whores. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine. Of course. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful! Shémale.

No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking. Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo. Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies.

Ah, it is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It's just Mom and whores. I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect. [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk? Operation Hot Mother.

They frame my junk. I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Speaking of settling, How's Ann?

I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. ♪♪ Somewhere… over the rainbow… there's another rainbow… ♪♪ I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship.