Go ahead, touch the cornballer. Hair up, glasses off.

Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB.

Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter? I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can. You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. Teamocil. Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!" I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It walked on my pillow!

YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw! Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. I guess you can say I'm buy-curious. Happy Franklin Friday. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one.

I hear the jury's still out on science. Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw! Never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup…baby, I got a stew goin'. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example.

Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? Her lawyers are claiming the seal is worth $250,000. And that's not even including Buster's Swatch. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC? Say goodbye to THESE!

Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. Tobias Fünke costume.

I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores.

So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is.