I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars? I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? I figured out a way to make money while I'm working! Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. Even though so many people in this office are begging for it.

I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo. Of course. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful! No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk? Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. Way to plant, Ann! Oh, yeah. The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. COME ON!

Don't call my escorts whores. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!

Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. Am I in two thirds of a hospital room?

George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car? I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. A night of heterosexual intercourse.

When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face. I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive!

Bob Loblaw Law Blog. I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. Friday night.

They frame my junk. Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh.

Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Chickens don't clap! Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.

Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt?