Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. I cheated and I lied and I whored around. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. Chickens don't clap! You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing.

Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle. It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face. Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp.

Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Are you at all concerned about an uprising?

I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy. [Stabbing Gob] White power! Gob: I'm white! I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet. This was a big get for God.

We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. There's a new daddy in town. A discipline daddy. Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we? I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo.

We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd eat the inside of your ear. You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet. A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. Operation Hot Mother. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet.

O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white… ♪♪ Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. - Lucille Bluth. Oh…yeah…the guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.

You boys know how to shovel coal? No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON. Obviously this blue part here is the land. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her. Teamocil. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. ♪♪ Big yellow joint, big yellow joint, I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint. ♪♪

Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON.