Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain." You don't want a hungry dove down your pants.

I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much. We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves.

And THAT'S why you always leave a note. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw.

I'm not a prostitute. Michael: Then I shall let you live! Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies. Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. Michael, you are not quite the ladies man I had pictured. Hopefully, we will remedy that when we are in the spa spreading body chocolate on each other. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead!

I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. What a fun, sexy time for you. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit.

When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Hahahaha.

Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!" Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Uncle Gob… was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times.

You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died. Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. Sorry, some of my students are arguing the significance of the shankbone on the seder plate. But we do not - NOT wag our genitals at one another to make a point.

Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? I'll never forget your wedding. Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.

That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Hahahaha.