I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it.

You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol. You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk? But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit.

Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass. First I blow him, then I poke him.

Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died.

Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. - Lucille Bluth. It looks like you've been looking for dragons… in the future.

♪♪ It ain't easy being white… ♪♪ Michael was having brunch with Sally Sitwell at a restaurant called Skip Church's Bistro. In addition to brunch, the restaurant was known for an item on the menu called the "Skip's Scramble", an omelet that contained everything on the menu. Do not order the Skip's Scramble. I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block! Say goodbye to THESE! Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'. If mother sees this, she will blow a cow.

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? Sorry, some of my students are arguing the significance of the shankbone on the seder plate. But we do not - NOT wag our genitals at one another to make a point. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. You stay on top of her Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman…

Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball! I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. Early. Do you have any idea how often you say the word afraid? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. Ohhh little guy. The tears aren't coming. The tears just aren't coming. If that man's straight, then I am sober.

Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw. Michael: I'm sorry, have we met? She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect.