Friday night. If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. It feels good to be back in a queen! Tobias is Queen Mary.

No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere on the OC? Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle. So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us. This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON. I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich. Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.

Everybody dance NOW. If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can re-snare my mate.

Who? i just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of ann. Chickens don't clap! Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch.

[sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we? Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ? Well, I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans. Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face. It's ok. You be with Yam.

I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ?

Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. Daddy horny, Michael. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers. Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways.

She calls it a Mayonegg. I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup…baby, I got a stew goin'. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster.

You can always tell a Milford man. Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Tobias is Queen Mary. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw.