But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? That's my son, you pothead!

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive!

That coat costs more than your house! No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you.

What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? It was the first taste of alcohol Buster had since he was nursing. I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. ♪♪ Big yellow joint, big yellow joint, I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint. ♪♪ If that man's straight, then I am sober. A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties.

Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul. GENE!! [screams] Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it! [climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun.

WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! The Man Inside Me seems well reviewed. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol. ♪♪ Somewhere… over the rainbow… there's another rainbow… ♪♪ Fried cheese… with club sauce.

Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! I cheated and I lied and I whored around. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.

Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. Oh…yeah…the guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Mission Accomplished. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in 3 months. Come on! I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot."

Also, your knee is on my heart. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. Those are balls. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it?

You need to do more with Rita. Believe me, I'd like to. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. I [bleeped] the business model. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. You stay on top of her, Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking.