The Army had half a day. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. What a fun, sexy time for you.

No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar. See for more good stuff. First I blow him, then I poke him. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball! She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Let me out that Queen. Daddy horny, Michael.

Shémale. Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up.

I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. ¡Soy loco por los Cornballs! What, so the guy we are meeting with can't even grow his own hair? COME ON! Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel?

This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! Let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar. Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb. I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit?

How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? Hey, Dad. Look at you. You're a year older…and a year closer to death. Buster: Oh yeah, I guess that's kind of funny. Get rid of the Seaward. Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready. Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care! The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently.

What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! GENE!! [screams] You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!" Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.

So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us. Talk you off what, Pop Pop? Dead Dove DO NOT EAT. A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money. Probably out there without a flipper, swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family.

Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had.

Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! One for the ladies. Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body? Gob: I like to look in the mirror. Annyong. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes.