A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!" A million [bleep]ing diamonds! Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. Steve Holt? The moron jock? It was the first taste of alcohol Buster had since he was nursing.

Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ? Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA? Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!

Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.

That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome.

I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.) This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. Heart attack never stopped old big bear. And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed.

I cheated and I lied and I whored around. Oh, yeah. The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. COME ON!

Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you. A million [bleep]ing diamonds! Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. Friend of mine from college. He also has a boat tho not called the Seaward. Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ?

Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. The Man Inside Me seems well reviewed.

What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? What have we always said is the most important thing? I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. I'm afraid I'm with Michael on this one. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect.

YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw! She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? I cheated and I lied and I whored around. Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.