She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre.

Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! ps This one really cracks me up for some reason. Happy Franklin Friday. Let the great experiment begin! Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends.

I'm not a prostitute. Michael: Then I shall let you live! You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk? Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship.

Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group?

Who? i just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of ann. A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. "Circumvent." It means "to go around." Gob: The old "reach around." I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! Why are you squeezing me with your body? Look, you are playing adults…with fully formed libidos, not 2 young men playing grab-ass in the shower.

Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? There's a girl in my soup! Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in 3 months. Come on! God knows they're squinters.

Teamocil. If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. I don't care for Gob. Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car? I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers!

They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? And THAT'S why you always leave a note. Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr: No not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT!

There are dozens of us! Dozens! I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?

I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. Nellie is blowing them all AWAY.