I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars? She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. And the soup of the day is bread. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted.

You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh. You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol. Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. Fun and failure both start out the same way. If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. Are you at all concerned about an uprising?

Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn? And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking.

I'M A MONSTER!! A Colombian cartel that WON'T kidnap and kill you. I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. Are you sure this isn't her sister? Mrs Veal: What a lovely thing to say. Michael: That's an awful thing to say.

Absolutely. And we're going to be here every day. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. There are dozens of us! Dozens! Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. Say goodbye to THESE! I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.

But I'm the oldest. The matriarch if you will. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. ¡Soy loco por los Cornballs! Heart attack never stopped old Big Bear. I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear. We never had the chance to. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Yes, Annyong. Your name is Annyong! We all know you're Annyong! I may have committed some light treason.

I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don't let go no matter what your mother tells you! She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook. George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. Heyyyyy, hermano. It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Steve Holt? The moron jock? I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. It was the first taste of alcohol Buster had since he was nursing. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers. Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around.

You boys know how to shovel coal? Can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times.

Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!" Hey, it was one night of wild passion! Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body? Gob: I like to look in the mirror. Hair up, glasses off. It's Sunday, but screw it — juice box time.