I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? The Man Inside Me seems well reviewed.

Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you. You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol. How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? Michael, you are not quite the ladies man I had pictured. Hopefully, we will remedy that when we are in the spa spreading body chocolate on each other.

It's a wonderful restaurant! It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best? Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on! If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can re-snare my mate. However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion.

I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can. Go ahead, touch the cornballer. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB. God knows they're squinters. It feels good to be back in a queen! First I blow him, then I poke him.

This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON. Douche chill! However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion.

That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. I'll sacrifice anything for my children. How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? What have we always said is the most important thing? Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes.

Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. Why are you squeezing me with your body? GENE!! [screams] You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It's just Mom and whores. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn't eat that, did you? Perhaps an attic shall I seek.

I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. I'm gonna go get sexy.

♪♪ It ain't easy being white… ♪♪ Fried cheese… with club sauce. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest?

I made a huge tiny mistake. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC?