How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. I don't appreciate the dry British humor. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre. See for more good stuff. Today I learned this is a real place, tho more lush than the OC. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh.

Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr: No not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball! Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse. You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle. Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!

I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. God knows they're squinters. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. It feels good to be back in a queen! How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA? Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp.

Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Douche chill! I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo. This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON. He also said some things African American-y wasn't ready to hear. Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre.

A Colombian cartel that WON'T kidnap and kill you. Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. What, so the guy we are meeting with can't even grow his own hair? COME ON! That coat costs more than your house! Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd.

A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? Also, your knee is on my heart. No. I was ashamed to be _seen_ with you. I like being with you. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. Happy Franklin Friday. Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose.

But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. Let the great experiment begin! Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on!

Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. Let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar. Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball!

Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on! And THAT'S why you always leave a note. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. But I'm the oldest. The matriarch if you will. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth.

Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. Ohhh little guy. The tears aren't coming. The tears just aren't coming. George Michael may be suffering from what we in the soft-sciences call Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or the "OC Disorder." I know she's a brownish area! With points! And I love her! Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. I call it Tricks –- wait for it – Around The Office.