Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre. Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo. Well, yeah you've gotta lock that down. I call it Tricks –- wait for it – Around The Office. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers.

She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… Hey, Dad. Look at you. You're a year older…and a year closer to death. Buster: Oh yeah, I guess that's kind of funny. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT!

They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. Quicken! Premiere! He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. Early. This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. Everybody dance NOW.

How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap? If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. There's a girl in my soup! Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard.

Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. In prison, you just have to close your eyes and take it, but here you have to close your eyes and give it. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. You need to do more with Rita. Believe me, I'd like to. You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?

Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think.

[climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car? Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. There's a girl in my soup!

Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?

No! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are! I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? I'll never forget your wedding. I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well, then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing.

Family Love Michael. Way to plant, Ann! Am I in two thirds of a hospital room? Waiting for the Emmys. BTW did you know won 6 Emmys and was still canceled early by Fox? COME ON.