No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best? Are you sure this isn't her sister? Mrs Veal: What a lovely thing to say. Michael: That's an awful thing to say. If mother sees this, she will blow a cow. It's a wonderful restaurant!

Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar. Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you. You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing.

Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! ♪♪ It ain't easy being white. It ain't easy being brown. ♪♪ Annyong. There are dozens of us! Dozens!

Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, can I walk free of pain. Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass. You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late.

It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. This was a big get for God. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently.

"Circumvent." It means "to go around." Gob: The old "reach around." I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. They frame my junk. Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me.

Don't call my escorts whores. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.

Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw. We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'. Oh, COME ON! I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars? You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit?

The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene. She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. Pound is tic-tac-toe right? Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard.

Everybody dance… NOW. Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) I'm sure Egg is a great person. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong? GENE!! [screams] Mission Accomplished. I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot."