She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? But where did the lighter fluid come from?

Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich. This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen.

Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw. Well, yeah you've gotta lock that down.

Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo. Go ahead, touch the cornballer. I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb.

This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. Annyong. Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me.

A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine. Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce.

Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. Look at us, crying like a couple of girls on the last day of camp. ♪♪ Somewhere… over the rainbow… there's another rainbow… ♪♪ What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench.

Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. Michael was having brunch with Sally Sitwell at a restaurant called Skip Church's Bistro. In addition to brunch, the restaurant was known for an item on the menu called the "Skip's Scramble", an omelet that contained everything on the menu. Do not order the Skip's Scramble. But I'm the oldest. The matriarch if you will. Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt?

It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere on the OC? Today I learned this is a real place, tho more lush than the OC.

Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. Uncle Gob… was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times. Saw this on the highway and almost blue myself. Hop on? Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad.