I figured out a way to make money while I'm working! Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter?

Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. I should be in this Poof. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw.

I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Of course. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful! "Circumvent." It means "to go around." Gob: The old "reach around." GENE!! [screams] Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes.

Heart attack never stopped old big bear. Pound is tic-tac-toe, right?

Obviously this blue part here is the land. Oh, COME ON! I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group? Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz. However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers. Everybody dance… NOW. Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!)

Her lawyers are claiming the seal is worth $250,000. And that's not even including Buster's Swatch. Teamocil. Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something?

What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? ¡Soy loco por los Cornballs! Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse. Teamocil. I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children.

Daddy horny, Michael. First I blow him, then I poke him. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care! O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? ♪♪ It's The Final Countdown ♪♪ Way to plant, Ann!

But where did the lighter fluid come from? Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb. Turn this skiff around! Everybody dance NOW. I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit?

If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block!