Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul. Douche chill! She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! [climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun. It's Sunday, but screw it — juice box time. Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers.

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. Early. It was the first taste of alcohol Buster had since he was nursing.

Chickens don't clap! Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. I don't care for Gob. These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. I hear the jury's still out on science. Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse. A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties.

No one's called him Baby Buster since high school. Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer. I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. Everybody dance NOW. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same.

OH MY GOD, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE… sale. Oh, the burning! ♪♪ Amaaaaaaziiiing Graaaace ♪♪ That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. If mother sees this, she will blow a cow. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood. But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah!

Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass! You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Come on, this is a Bluth family celebration. It's no place for children. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it! With spicy club sauce.

I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) I cheated and I lied and I whored around. I cheated and I lied and I whored around. Heyyyyy, hermano. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually.

Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship. Those are balls. YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw!

Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo. With spicy club sauce. If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white. It ain't easy being brown. ♪♪ Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something?

♪♪ It's The Final Countdown ♪♪ I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can.