But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her.

You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet. Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don't let go no matter what your mother tells you! Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.

She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. Pound is tic-tac-toe, right?

The Army had half a day. George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! Great, now I'm gonna smell to high heaven like a tuna melt!

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. Yeah, I invited her. You said you wanted to spend time some with her. You said I was being an Ann hog. We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves. I guess you can say I'm buy-curious. I didn't mean who… I meant… her? Uncle Gob… was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it.

A million ****ing diamonds! I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. You can always tell a Milford man. That coat costs more than your house! Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it. Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one.

The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn't eat that, did you? Quicken! Premiere! Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? One for the ladies. However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr: No not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.

Probably out there without a flipper, swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family. [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." They don't allow you to have bees in here. Douche chill! A million ****ing diamonds! Tobias Fünke costume. In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acqusition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive. See for more good stuff.

Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. I'm gonna go get sexy. I hear the jury's still out on science. I'm sure Egg is a great person. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Hey campers!

Hair up, glasses off. No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best?