What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Annyong. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball! I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed.

I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese?

No! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are! Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. Well, I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans. You boys know how to shovel coal? I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. Oh…yeah…the guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on!

You can always tell a Milford man. That's my son, you pothead! I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy. Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul.

It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.

If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. I don't care for Gob. Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ? Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. She calls it a mayonegg. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off.

Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth. Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. It looks like you've been looking for dragons… in the future. Dead Dove DO NOT EAT. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you.

Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul. It's a wonderful restaurant! I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! Ah, it is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it. Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC?

You're blowing my mind, Frank. Quicken! Premiere! Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her.

I'll sacrifice anything for my children. Let the great experiment begin! I guess you can say I'm buy-curious. Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb.