She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.

Tobias Fünke costume. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth. Why are you squeezing me with your body? I made a huge tiny mistake. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. The Man Inside Me seems well reviewed. A sea of waiters and no one will take a drink order. Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on!

How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. [climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white. It ain't easy being brown. ♪♪

It feels good to be back in a queen! Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? Buster: It was a wild, wild ride. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane.

I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo. Well, I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans.

It's ok. You be with Yam. And the soup of the day is bread.

I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia?

I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group? The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking.

Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. Monday morning. COME ON! I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. Don't call my escorts whores. And here you are coming out of your mother's third base!

Ohhh little guy. The tears aren't coming. The tears just aren't coming. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere on the OC?