Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. I know she's a brownish area! With points! And I love her! Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her.

They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. I cheated and I lied and I whored around.

Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on! We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. And THAT'S why you always leave a note. Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. Get rid of the Seaward. Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready. Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did.

Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass! I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed.

I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing. With spicy club sauce.

It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. Ah, it is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it. You're Killing Me, Buster. Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad?

It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. You burn down the storage unit? Oh, most definitely. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. No! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are!

I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. Say goodbye to THESE!

The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Touché, Pandora. With spicy club sauce. Pound is tic-tac-toe, right? I don't appreciate the dry British humor.

Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. Let the great experiment begin! I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. I made a huge tiny mistake.