Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.

Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr: No not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on! It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face. I'll sacrifice anything for my children. But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears.

He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. Pound is tic-tac-toe right? Look at us, crying like a couple of girls on the last day of camp. Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. See for more good stuff.

Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter? Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich. There are dozens of us! Dozens! Speaking of settling, How's Ann? Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted.

Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

[sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." I should be in this Poof. And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom?

Look at us, crying like a couple of girls on the last day of camp. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. Happy Franklin Friday. Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it. A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money. If mother sees this, she will blow a cow. Absolutely. And we're going to be here every day. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest.

Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter? She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto.

Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar. NO TOUCHING! It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. ♪♪ It's The Final Countdown ♪♪

Absolutely. And we're going to be here every day. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. Perhaps an attic shall I seek. And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings. Queens. The King of Queens. Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT!