¡Soy loco por los Cornballs! Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking.

Let me out that Queen. Go ahead, touch the cornballer. You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don't let go no matter what your mother tells you! I don't appreciate the dry British humor. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast.

And with deep, deep concentration and, and great focus, he's often able to achieve an erect– Heart attack never stopped old big bear!

Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? Speaking of settling, How's Ann? Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. Sorry, some of my students are arguing the significance of the shankbone on the seder plate. But we do not - NOT wag our genitals at one another to make a point.

I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can. How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia?

Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. I didn't mean who… I meant… her? Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap? Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup. Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on!

When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw! She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? I cheated and I lied and I whored around. What's up, fizz-ellas. I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time.

I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me.

Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. You're Killing Me, Buster. Chickens don't clap! That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. It's sort of like going from prime rib to… I don't know… weird brother of prime rib.

It looks like you've been looking for dragons… in the future. A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo.