There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. ♪♪ Big yellow joint, big yellow joint, I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint. ♪♪

How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? But I didn't take wasn't optimistic it could be done for an answer. In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acqusition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive.

I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. Talk you off what, Pop Pop? Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. A night of heterosexual intercourse.

Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? Saw this on the highway and almost blue myself. Hop on?

I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face. See for more good stuff. Chickens don't clap!

We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain." I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest?

I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! Please refrain from Mayoneggs during this salmonella scare. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen.

That's my son, you pothead! Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! Look, you are playing adults…with fully formed libidos, not 2 young men playing grab-ass in the shower.

Steve Holt? The moron jock? And guess what else is back. [slow wink] My breakfast? My friskiness. Mama horny Michael. Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. ¡Soy loco por los Cornballs! She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. Way to plant, Ann!

Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car? Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? But where did the lighter fluid come from? I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars? We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook.