What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! I made a huge tiny mistake.

I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough.

I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. And the soup of the day is bread. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out.

These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. Also, your knee is on my heart. Monday morning. COME ON! Please refrain from Mayoneggs during this salmonella scare. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto.

Tobias Fünke costume. I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. It's one banana Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars? Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. Hair up, glasses off. How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA?

Yeah, I invited her. You said you wanted to spend time some with her. You said I was being an Ann hog. Speaking of settling, How's Ann? She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Operation Hot Mother. Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers. GENE!! [screams]

Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay.

Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man.

I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. Shémale. Yes, Annyong. Your name is Annyong! We all know you're Annyong! For the same reason you should believe a hundred dollar bill is no more than a hundred pennies!