She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. Let me out that Queen. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn't eat that, did you? It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it.

No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. And THAT'S why you always leave a note. Mission Accomplished. George Michael may be suffering from what we in the soft-sciences call Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or the "OC Disorder."

No! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are! What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. Family Love Michael. George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt? Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.

I made a huge tiny mistake. I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. Up yours, granny! You couldn't handle it! You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don't let go no matter what your mother tells you! Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it! Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. Mission Accomplished. You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don't let go no matter what your mother tells you!

Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends. I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can. I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. But where did the lighter fluid come from? Family Love Michael. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror.

Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw. He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. Early. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something.

So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo. It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb. GENE!! [screams] Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo. Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn?

Heart attack never stopped old Big Bear. I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear. We never had the chance to. Uncle Gob… was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times. Why are you squeezing me with your body?

Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. Well, yeah you've gotta lock that down.

One for the ladies. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! Daddy horny, Michael. Friend of mine from college. He also has a boat tho not called the Seaward.