The Army had half a day. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. You boys know how to shovel coal?

Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, can I walk free of pain.

I'll sacrifice anything for my children. Heart attack never stopped old big bear. There are dozens of us! DOZENS! No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on!

Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear. Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. You can always tell a Milford man. No. I was ashamed to be _seen_ with you. I like being with you. Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.

♪♪ It's The Final Countdown ♪♪ Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. Absolutely. And we're going to be here every day. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something?

The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently. Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on!

Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. You're a good guy, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don't know how I know that. I took four years of Spanish. You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb.

Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh!

It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. Chickens don't clap!