I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car? Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood. Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom.

Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Today I learned this is a real place, tho more lush than the OC. Turn this skiff around! This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON. In prison, you just have to close your eyes and take it, but here you have to close your eyes and give it. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much!

Uncle Gob… was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times. He's going to be all right. You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don't let go no matter what your mother tells you! Let me out that Queen. Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends. Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? Can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood?

You burn down the storage unit? Oh, most definitely. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In laymans terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. Family Love Michael. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually. Way to plant, Ann!

Heyyyyy, hermano. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. Say goodbye to THESE! I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy.

It was the first taste of alcohol Buster had since he was nursing. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? God knows they're squinters. But where did the lighter fluid come from? I cheated and I lied and I whored around. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob.

A million ****ing diamonds! Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. Don't call my escorts whores. Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time.

I guess you can say I'm buy-curious. Chickens don't clap! Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. If that man's straight, then I am sober.

The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? Buster: It was a wild, wild ride. Well, I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans. No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch.

I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard.