The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn? Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing.

One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong? No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! And guess what else is back. [slow wink] My breakfast? My friskiness. Mama horny Michael. ♪♪ Big yellow joint, big yellow joint, I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint. ♪♪

Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench. Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth.

But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.

Heyyyy uncle father Oscar. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.

First I blow him, then I poke him. You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? Oh, yeah. The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. COME ON! She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive!

Please refrain from Mayoneggs during this salmonella scare. That's my son, you pothead! This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day.

So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. Perhaps an attic shall I seek. Oh, COME ON! I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. You stay on top of her Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard.

Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose.

You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol. He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. Early. See for more good stuff. Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. Great, now I'm gonna smell to high heaven like a tuna melt! These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. You boys know how to shovel coal?