But I'm the oldest. The matriarch if you will. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. If that man's straight, then I am sober. Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter?

I see you've wasted no time in filling my seat hole. Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. Can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? You boys know how to shovel coal? But I'm the oldest. The matriarch if you will. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It's just Mom and whores. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain."

In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. Do you have any idea how often you say the word afraid? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse.

I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! I was hoping he would be gifted sexually. I may have committed some light treason. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking.

I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces.

She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious.

No one's called him Baby Buster since high school. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something.

No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. You burn down the storage unit? Oh, most definitely. Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect. And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings. Queens. The King of Queens. Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it.

Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? It looks like you've been looking for dragons… in the future. If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON.