I'm sure Egg is a great person. Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! ps This one really cracks me up for some reason. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something.

Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. I'm sure Egg is a great person.

Let the great experiment begin! But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? We all need to pick a day to try and make trend.

I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time. Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar. Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass! I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died.

Fried cheese… with club sauce. Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing.

Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. I hear the jury's still out on science.

You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol. I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.)

You're Killing Me, Buster. Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood.

If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. I don't care for Gob. Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw. Michael: I'm sorry, have we met? Teamocil. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? ♪♪ It's The Final Countdown ♪♪ I'm afraid I'm with Michael on this one. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?