Am I in two thirds of a hospital room? I guess you can say I'm buy-curious. Pound is tic-tac-toe, right? I cheated and I lied and I whored around. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… And with deep, deep concentration and, and great focus, he's often able to achieve an erect–

If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. Oh, COME ON! Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it! I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. Ah, it is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear.

♪♪ It's The Final Countdown ♪♪ And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Make love in your *own* hand, Mother!

I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter?

Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! ps This one really cracks me up for some reason. Those are balls. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?

That coat costs more than your house! Mission Accomplished. I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit?

Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH! Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block! I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.) She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen.

Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars? Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! Yes, Annyong. Your name is Annyong! We all know you're Annyong! I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd.

These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Teamocil. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. If that man's straight, then I am sober.

Hey, it was one night of wild passion! Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body? Gob: I like to look in the mirror. Oh, yeah. The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. COME ON!