Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. It was for me. I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.

Turn this skiff around! Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet.

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead! You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood?

Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. What a fun, sexy time for you.

One for the ladies. Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup. There are dozens of us! DOZENS! Heart attack never stopped old big bear. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer. And although the intervention didn't work, it turned into one of the Bluth family's better parties. I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect.

And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar.

I hear the jury's still out on science. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? Oh, COME ON! I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen.

Say goodbye to THESE! I believe you will find the dessert to be both engrossing and high-grossing! So we don't get dessert? Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. NO TOUCHING!

Oh, yeah. The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. COME ON! The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. What have we always said is the most important thing? Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb.

I'm gonna go get sexy. I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. Talk you off what, Pop Pop? I hear the jury's still out on science. Fried cheese… with club sauce.