I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. Those are balls. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.)

It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. She calls it a mayonegg. ¡Soy loco por los Cornballs! This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. Am I in two thirds of a hospital room? If that man's straight, then I am sober.

Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white. It ain't easy being brown. ♪♪ Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes.

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. Friend of mine from college. He also has a boat tho not called the Seaward. Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much. Friend of mine from college. He also has a boat tho not called the Seaward. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane.

Hey, Dad. Look at you. You're a year older…and a year closer to death. Buster: Oh yeah, I guess that's kind of funny. Heart attack never stopped old big bear! Also, your knee is on my heart. And guess what else is back. [slow wink] My breakfast? My friskiness. Mama horny Michael.

I know what an erection feels like, Michael. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Hahahaha.

Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet.

I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo. If that man's straight, then I am sober. She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen.

I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In laymans terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves.

The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. I'm sure Egg is a great person. She calls it a mayonegg. Can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood?