A Colombian cartel that WON'T kidnap and kill you. I hear the jury's still out on science. No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. Heyyyyy, hermano. You boys know how to shovel coal?

Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? We all need to pick a day to try and make trend.

If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. A million ****ing diamonds! It's Sunday, but screw it — juice box time. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking. Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup.

Family Love Michael. Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? There's a girl in my soup!

Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk? The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers!

A Colombian cartel that WON'T kidnap and kill you. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength?

Steve Holt? The moron jock? Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. Look, you are playing adults…with fully formed libidos, not 2 young men playing grab-ass in the shower.

Saw this on the highway and almost blue myself. Hop on? ♪♪ And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight! ♪♪

Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth?

What do you think about Sudden Valley? It sounds like a salad dressing, but for some reason I don't want to eat it. I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB. Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH! I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. It walked on my pillow!