Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? What's up, fizz-ellas. Michael, you are not quite the ladies man I had pictured. Hopefully, we will remedy that when we are in the spa spreading body chocolate on each other. That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo.

Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong?

I call it Tricks –- wait for it – Around The Office. I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. I should be in this Poof. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something?

And THAT'S why you always leave a note. I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain." Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I'm on the job. Go ahead, touch the cornballer.

You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw! No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. I'll sacrifice anything for my children.

Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. Look, you are playing adults…with fully formed libidos, not 2 young men playing grab-ass in the shower. Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers.

Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne.

We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. Those are balls. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball!

I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. It's OUR nausea. Daddy horny, Michael. Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Up yours, granny! You couldn't handle it!

I'm sure Egg is a great person. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC?