I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Also, your knee is on my heart. For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, can I walk free of pain. [Stabbing Gob] White power! Gob: I'm white!

Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It's just Mom and whores. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking.

I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! Teamocil.

She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. What have we always said is the most important thing? What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends.

I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich. Steve Holt? The moron jock? I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. Shémale. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! Douche chill! Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle.

Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. Probably out there without a flipper, swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family. Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy.

You can always tell a Milford man. Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre.

She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB. I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars? Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we? No. I was ashamed to be _seen_ with you. I like being with you.

However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. You're a good guy, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don't know how I know that. I took four years of Spanish. Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood. This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. It was for me. I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette. Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes.

But I didn't take wasn't optimistic it could be done for an answer. I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. You stay on top of her, Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. He also said some things African American-y wasn't ready to hear. It's a wonderful restaurant!