You're a good guy, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don't know how I know that. I took four years of Spanish. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! I made a huge tiny mistake.

I cheated and I lied and I whored around. Never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup…baby, I got a stew goin'. Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ? I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can. There's a girl in my soup!

Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn? Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. Let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar. So maybe you could start jete-ing, and stop je-terrorizing me!

She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. What a fun, sexy time for you. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship. Daddy horny, Michael. You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! Say goodbye to THESE! Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd eat the inside of your ear.

Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing.

Steve Holt? The moron jock? It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door. The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently.

He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. Early. Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't.

Way to plant, Ann! The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn't eat that, did you?

Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar. Michael was having brunch with Sally Sitwell at a restaurant called Skip Church's Bistro. In addition to brunch, the restaurant was known for an item on the menu called the "Skip's Scramble", an omelet that contained everything on the menu. Do not order the Skip's Scramble. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking.

I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I'm on the job. When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman…