I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. Tobias is Queen Mary. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) I figured out a way to make money while I'm working! If mother sees this, she will blow a cow.

Friday night. Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. He also said some things African American-y wasn't ready to hear. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! NO TOUCHING! Let's see some bananas and nuts!

If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body? Gob: I like to look in the mirror. A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper.

I believe you will find the dessert to be both engrossing and high-grossing! So we don't get dessert? That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? Buster: It was a wild, wild ride. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. I'm sure Egg is a great person. I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.

When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying.

I guess you can say I'm buy-curious. I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think.

Fried cheese… with club sauce. So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us. He also said some things African American-y wasn't ready to hear. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. There's a new daddy in town. A discipline daddy. Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you.

Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. I don't appreciate the dry British humor. Talk you off what, Pop Pop? Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes.

Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In laymans terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. Daddy horny, Michael. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! See for more good stuff. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn?