He also said some things African American-y wasn't ready to hear. How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces.

What's up, fizz-ellas. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen.

Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. Saw this on the highway and almost blue myself. Hop on?

Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways.

Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench. Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging.

Tobias Fünke costume. But anyhoo, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? We all need to pick a day to try and make trend.

They frame my junk. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. Douche chill!

The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA? You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit?

Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. Go ahead, touch the cornballer. They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead! Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn?

Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face.