You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. No one's called him Baby Buster since high school. I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'. I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray. There are dozens of us! Dozens! Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold.

Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on! I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter. But where did the lighter fluid come from? My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you.

Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. Pound is tic-tac-toe right? Let the great experiment begin! Steve Holt? The moron jock? Dead Dove DO NOT EAT. Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care! Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror.

The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. That's my son, you pothead! That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door. I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive!

In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb. Let me out that Queen. Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car?

I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. ♪♪ And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight! ♪♪ Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. I don't care for Gob. You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. Am I in two thirds of a hospital room?

Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood. Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can. Go ahead, touch the Cornballer.

NO TOUCHING! Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn? Why are you squeezing me with your body? Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? I'll sacrifice anything for my children. I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. So maybe you could start jete-ing, and stop je-terrorizing me!

She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. With spicy club sauce.

I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. They don't allow you to have bees in here. Sorry, some of my students are arguing the significance of the shankbone on the seder plate. But we do not - NOT wag our genitals at one another to make a point. I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.