Fried cheese… with club sauce. I [bleeped] the business model. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms. Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH!

Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It's just Mom and whores. Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores.

Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? ♪♪ And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight! ♪♪ She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB. Waiting for the Emmys. BTW did you know won 6 Emmys and was still canceled early by Fox? COME ON. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. Never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup…baby, I got a stew goin'. Heyyyy uncle father Oscar.

Oh, yeah. The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. COME ON! I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot."

Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. Family Love Michael. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too.

Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. The Army had half a day.

She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. With spicy club sauce. ♪♪ And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight! ♪♪

Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. A Colombian cartel that WON'T kidnap and kill you. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong?

It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? He also said some things African American-y wasn't ready to hear. Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! They don't allow you to have bees in here. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza.

Well, yeah you've gotta lock that down. GENE!! [screams] I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! Get rid of the Seaward. Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something.