That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. You boys know how to shovel coal? Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In laymans terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong? I made a huge tiny mistake. Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw. Michael: I'm sorry, have we met? For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, can I walk free of pain.

God knows they're squinters. Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer. Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup. Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz.

Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. Heart attack never stopped old big bear. It walked on my pillow! It's a wonderful restaurant! I cheated and I lied and I whored around. Daddy horny, Michael.

Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. You're a good guy, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don't know how I know that. I took four years of Spanish. Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. Pound is tic-tac-toe right?

I know what an erection feels like, Michael. A million ****ing diamonds! No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. I should be in this Poof. Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit.

Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends. Daddy horny, Michael. My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer.

A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. Let me out that Queen. OH MY GOD, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE… sale. Oh, the burning! ♪♪ Amaaaaaaziiiing Graaaace ♪♪

And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings. Queens. The King of Queens. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn?

Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass! You're Killing Me, Buster. Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it! Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. And the soup of the day is bread.

What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!! They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. Everybody dance… NOW.