You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. I see you've wasted no time in filling my seat hole. I know what an erection feels like, Michael.

I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough.

Friend of mine from college. He also has a boat tho not called the Seaward. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well, then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. First I blow him, then I poke him.

Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce.

You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. Also, your knee is on my heart. Well, yeah you've gotta lock that down. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No.

Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. There's a girl in my soup! Obviously this blue part here is the land.

I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. Can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood?

Touché, Pandora. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary and we don't need anymore lawsuits.

It was the first taste of alcohol Buster had since he was nursing. Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? I know she's a brownish area! With points! And I love her!

I know she's a brownish area! With points! And I love her! For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, can I walk free of pain. Let the great experiment begin! This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne.