If mother sees this, she will blow a cow. That's my son, you pothead! Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood. With spicy club sauce.

Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block! Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times. Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer.

The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group? Say goodbye to THESE! No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. Teamocil. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways.

So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. ♪♪ It's The Final Countdown ♪♪ You stay on top of her, Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt? How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces.

Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer. Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Hahahaha. ♪♪ It's The Final Countdown ♪♪ Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay.

Let me out that Queen. Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can. I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect.

Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. Michael was having brunch with Sally Sitwell at a restaurant called Skip Church's Bistro. In addition to brunch, the restaurant was known for an item on the menu called the "Skip's Scramble", an omelet that contained everything on the menu. Do not order the Skip's Scramble. I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her.

Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! I didn't mean who… I meant… her? Let me out that Queen. The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene. Why are you squeezing me with your body?

So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. They don't allow you to have bees in here.

You're blowing my mind, Frank. What's up, fizz-ellas. Douche chill!