Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd eat the inside of your ear. Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day. What do you think about Sudden Valley? It sounds like a salad dressing, but for some reason I don't want to eat it.

Annhog's coming? I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. That coat costs more than your house! The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! You need to do more with Rita. Believe me, I'd like to. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard.

Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. "Circumvent." It means "to go around." Gob: The old "reach around." It's OUR nausea. Pound is tic-tac-toe right? Please refrain from Mayoneggs during this salmonella scare. Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough.

Waiting for the Emmys. BTW did you know won 6 Emmys and was still canceled early by Fox? COME ON. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. It's a wonderful restaurant! I'M A MONSTER!!

I was hoping he would be gifted sexually. Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ? I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. I hear the jury's still out on science. They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. Her lawyers are claiming the seal is worth $250,000. And that's not even including Buster's Swatch.

Heart attack never stopped old big bear. WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. But where did the lighter fluid come from? She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. Well, I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans.

I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Speaking of settling, How's Ann? Say goodbye to THESE! Douche chill!

Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group? I hear the jury's still out on science. Quicken! Premiere!

And THAT'S why you always leave a note. Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table.