Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass! And guess what else is back. [slow wink] My breakfast? My friskiness. Mama horny Michael. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap.

What, so the guy we are meeting with can't even grow his own hair? COME ON! She calls it a Mayonegg. God knows they're squinters. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw.

She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. Chickens don't clap! Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in 3 months. Come on! If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear.

Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. It's OUR nausea.

I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. There are dozens of us! Dozens! I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time. I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch!

Heart attack never stopped old Big Bear. I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear. We never had the chance to. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. There are dozens of us! DOZENS! Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. Turn this skiff around!

Oh, COME ON! A million ****ing diamonds! Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City.

The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! There are dozens of us! Dozens! Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! You boys know how to shovel coal? How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings. Queens. The King of Queens.

Let me out that Queen. Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest.

[Stabbing Gob] White power! Gob: I'm white! Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Of course. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful!