You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. I made a huge tiny mistake.

Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear. I made a huge tiny mistake.

Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? It feels good to be back in a queen! So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! I'm afraid I'm with Michael on this one. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong?

Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. Tobias Fünke costume. Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. Daddy horny, Michael. I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar.

I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group? Teamocil. It's one banana Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars? Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!"

You stay on top of her Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead! I may have committed some light treason. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Hahahaha. This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.

Pound is tic-tac-toe, right? Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. And here you are coming out of your mother's third base!

I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can re-snare my mate. I'll sacrifice anything for my children. This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! I figured out a way to make money while I'm working! It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City.

It was for me. I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette. If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! Daddy horny, Michael. Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar. Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.) What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) Touché, Pandora. So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities?