Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. I'M A MONSTER!! I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh. I know what an erection feels like, Michael.

Oh, COME ON! Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH!

Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. Go ahead, touch the Cornballer.

Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we? Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror.

I'M A MONSTER!! No! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are!

Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. Let's see some bananas and nuts! I should be in this Poof. Turn this skiff around!

You're Killing Me, Buster. Am I in two thirds of a hospital room? I didn't mean who… I meant… her? Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!" So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary and we don't need anymore lawsuits. Of course. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful! Up yours, granny! You couldn't handle it! I call it Tricks –- wait for it – Around The Office.

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead! Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre. Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza.

Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB.

In prison, you just have to close your eyes and take it, but here you have to close your eyes and give it. Why are you squeezing me with your body?