You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing. But where did the lighter fluid come from? Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities?

Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. I hear the jury's still out on science. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you.

WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. Heyyyyy, hermano. Butterscotch! Want a lick? She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome.

I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Oh, COME ON! I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball!

Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care! Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In laymans terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap.

I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you.

One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. Hey, Dad. Look at you. You're a year older…and a year closer to death. Buster: Oh yeah, I guess that's kind of funny. She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad?

Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. If mother sees this, she will blow a cow. Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!)

No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. NO TOUCHING! We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.)

There's a new daddy in town. A discipline daddy. First I blow him, then I poke him. A Colombian cartel that WON'T kidnap and kill you. Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? I'll never forget your wedding. Am I in two thirds of a hospital room? Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold.