I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. Speaking of settling, How's Ann? ¡Soy loco por los Cornballs!

Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? Buster: It was a wild, wild ride. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter.

And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas. Touché, Pandora. You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white. It ain't easy being brown. ♪♪

Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. I don't care for Gob. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies.

♪♪ Big yellow joint, big yellow joint, I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint. ♪♪ This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. Heart attack never stopped old big bear. Fun and failure both start out the same way. If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. Pound is tic-tac-toe right?

Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. Daddy horny, Michael. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals.

That coat costs more than your house! We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'. God knows they're squinters. It's sort of like going from prime rib to… I don't know… weird brother of prime rib. Let the great experiment begin! Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one.

Family Love Michael. Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? Happy Franklin Friday. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag.

These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. If that man's straight, then I am sober. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

Don't call my escorts whores. I may have committed some light treason.