I should be in this Poof. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. Michael, you are not quite the ladies man I had pictured. Hopefully, we will remedy that when we are in the spa spreading body chocolate on each other. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white… ♪♪ This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray.

Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Perhaps an attic shall I seek. Daddy horny, Michael.

The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently. I may have committed some light treason. You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd.

Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? M: I'll never forget your wedding. Mission Accomplished. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. If mother sees this, she will blow a cow. Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre.

Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. She calls it a mayonegg. I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.)

Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It's just Mom and whores. They frame my junk. He's going to be all right. ♪♪ It's The Final Countdown ♪♪

If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. I hear the jury's still out on science. You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. It walked on my pillow! It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her. Heyyyyy, hermano. We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves.

So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it. I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.

Fried cheese… with club sauce. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! Operation Hot Mother.

Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! Are you sure this isn't her sister? Mrs Veal: What a lovely thing to say. Michael: That's an awful thing to say. Hair up, glasses off. I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Heart attack never stopped old Big Bear. I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear. We never had the chance to.