Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. It feels good to be back in a queen!

If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I'm on the job. I hear the jury's still out on science. Operation Hot Mother. Obviously this blue part here is the land. I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! Hey, Dad. Look at you. You're a year older…and a year closer to death. Buster: Oh yeah, I guess that's kind of funny. Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer.

I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best? Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on!

I made a huge tiny mistake. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.

Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. Saw this on the highway and almost blue myself. Hop on? Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. Everybody dance… NOW. They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo.

Can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. Everybody dance NOW. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere on the OC? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead!

It walked on my pillow! My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine. Fried cheese… with club sauce. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy.

This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON. Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care! Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores.

Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. Talk you off what, Pop Pop? So maybe you could start jete-ing, and stop je-terrorizing me! Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her.

Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In laymans terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. You burn down the storage unit? Oh, most definitely. Heyyyyy, hermano. Monday morning. COME ON! In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed.