You can control your bladder when you're dead! Turn this skiff around! Heart attack never stopped old big bear! If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook. Annhog's coming? Those are balls.

I guess you can say I'm buy-curious. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much. No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Go ahead, touch the cornballer. George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. A sea of waiters and no one will take a drink order.

Are you sure this isn't her sister? Mrs Veal: What a lovely thing to say. Michael: That's an awful thing to say. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Hahahaha. Way to plant, Ann! Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. A million [bleep]ing diamonds! Michael was having brunch with Sally Sitwell at a restaurant called Skip Church's Bistro. In addition to brunch, the restaurant was known for an item on the menu called the "Skip's Scramble", an omelet that contained everything on the menu. Do not order the Skip's Scramble. Go ahead, touch the cornballer.

Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I'm on the job.

Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA? You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.

You boys know how to shovel coal? Chickens don't clap! Chickens don't clap! He's going to be all right.

One for the ladies. You stay on top of her, Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white. It ain't easy being brown. ♪♪ They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in.

Today I learned this is a real place, tho more lush than the OC. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB. I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot." Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray. Her lawyers are claiming the seal is worth $250,000. And that's not even including Buster's Swatch.

Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her. Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acqusition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive. I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain."

You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk? Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON. I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse.