Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere on the OC? My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone.

And guess what else is back. [slow wink] My breakfast? My friskiness. Mama horny Michael. Let me out that Queen. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast.

NO TOUCHING! Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. I'M A MONSTER!! Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Annyong.

No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best? Let the great experiment begin!

Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. No! These are just strippers! Look how hot they are! I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?

♪♪ It ain't easy being white. It ain't easy being brown. ♪♪ I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. There are dozens of us! Dozens! A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. That's my son, you pothead! Speaking of settling, How's Ann?

Let me out that Queen. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman..

This was a big get for God. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Chickens don't clap! I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars? Say goodbye to THESE!

A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo. I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain." They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo.

I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz. I'm afraid I'm with Michael on this one. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. I'll sacrifice anything for my children. And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar.