You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball! Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! What's up, fizz-ellas. This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON.

Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. But where did the lighter fluid come from? I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care! No. I was ashamed to be _seen_ with you. I like being with you. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face.

I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car? There's a new daddy in town. A discipline daddy.

And THAT'S why you always leave a note. Teamocil. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. Ah, it is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese?

Touché, Pandora. What a fun, sexy time for you. Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit. You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! Pound is tic-tac-toe, right? When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman..

It's sort of like going from prime rib to… I don't know… weird brother of prime rib. Look, you are playing adults…with fully formed libidos, not 2 young men playing grab-ass in the shower. [Stabbing Gob] White power! Gob: I'm white! Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. I'm not a prostitute. Then I shall let you live!

Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. - Lucille Bluth. She calls it a mayonegg. A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money. Ohhh little guy. The tears aren't coming. The tears just aren't coming.

Teamocil. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best? Go ahead, touch the cornballer. A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. We all need to pick a day to try and make trend.

But where did the lighter fluid come from? Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother's Cher jumpsuit. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies.

You're Killing Me, Buster. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up.