But where did the lighter fluid come from? Do you have any idea how often you say the word afraid? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it. Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. You boys know how to shovel coal? Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! Everybody dance NOW.

No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. I didn't mean who… I meant… her? This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. And I am rock steady. No more dizzies. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.

The Army had half a day. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you.

A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. It walked on my pillow! Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide.

When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? M: I'll never forget your wedding. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies. They don't allow you to have bees in here. Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! ps This one really cracks me up for some reason. If that man's straight, then I am sober. Daddy horny, Michael.

George Michael may be suffering from what we in the soft-sciences call Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or the "OC Disorder." No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. Look, you are playing adults…with fully formed libidos, not 2 young men playing grab-ass in the shower.

What's up, fizz-ellas. Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. She calls it a Mayonegg. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead!

Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb. With spicy club sauce. I should be in this Poof. Talk you off what, Pop Pop?

Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. I've made a huge tiny mistake. We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'.

You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk? Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can re-snare my mate. Way to plant, Ann!