But I'm the oldest. The matriarch if you will. Everybody dance… NOW. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. Get rid of the Seaward. Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready. I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) A night of heterosexual intercourse. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's OUR nausea.

Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face. Pound is tic-tac-toe, right?

Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! Probably out there without a flipper, swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family. Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.

Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well, then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup. You stay on top of her, Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? Who? i just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of ann. Steve Holt? The moron jock?

Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? Touché, Pandora. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her. ¡Soy loco por los Cornballs! Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH!

We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.) I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect. Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON.

Am I in two thirds of a hospital room? So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already!

Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. I've made a huge tiny mistake. George Michael may be suffering from what we in the soft-sciences call Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or the "OC Disorder."

Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? There are dozens of us! Dozens!

WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where?