It's a wonderful restaurant! Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it.

Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr: No not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. Quicken! Premiere! Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times. I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much. Well, yeah you've gotta lock that down. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well, then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT!

Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! ps This one really cracks me up for some reason. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. It's one banana Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars? Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! Everybody dance NOW. Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? They frame my junk.

In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. ♪♪ Somewhere… over the rainbow… there's another rainbow… ♪♪ I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? I'll never forget your wedding. I [bleeped] the business model. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms. I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror.

I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Fun and failure both start out the same way. Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on!

He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide.

He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. A Colombian cartel that WON'T kidnap and kill you. [Stabbing Gob] White power! Gob: I'm white! We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'.

You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk? That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar.

Teamocil. If mother sees this, she will blow a cow. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. That coat costs more than your house!

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead! She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. You boys know how to shovel coal?