I know what an erection feels like, Michael. Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup. Yeah, I invited her. You said you wanted to spend time some with her. You said I was being an Ann hog. I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard.

That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. What do you think about Sudden Valley? It sounds like a salad dressing, but for some reason I don't want to eat it. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her.

Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. He's going to be all right. This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM!

Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something.

Those are balls. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. Teamocil. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw! Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce.

I'M A MONSTER!! It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong? A sea of waiters and no one will take a drink order. Douche chill! A sea of waiters and no one will take a drink order. Turn this skiff around! You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. - Lucille Bluth.

I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass. Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas. I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle.

Butterscotch! Want a lick? Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? Buster: It was a wild, wild ride. He also said some things African American-y wasn't ready to hear. Touché, Pandora. That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut. Michael, you are not quite the ladies man I had pictured. Hopefully, we will remedy that when we are in the spa spreading body chocolate on each other. Friday night.

Chickens don't clap! Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. What have we always said is the most important thing?

So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit.