I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group? Fun and failure both start out the same way. He's going to be all right. We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'. You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don't let go no matter what your mother tells you! And the soup of the day is bread. Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care!

You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. Heyyyyy, hermano. Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!" The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. I know she's a brownish area! With points! And I love her!

We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. Everybody dance NOW. Pound is tic-tac-toe, right?

Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example.

No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant? Yeah, sure, dozens of times. George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt? She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much!

I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror.

You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. Waiting for the Emmys. BTW did you know won 6 Emmys and was still canceled early by Fox? COME ON. I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? Monday morning. COME ON! Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse.

One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? Buster: It was a wild, wild ride.

Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! ps This one really cracks me up for some reason. I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? ♪♪ It ain't easy being white… ♪♪

Let me out that Queen. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too.