Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in 3 months. Come on! Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. It's ok. You be with Yam. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw.

How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn?

You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. Obviously this blue part here is the land. Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care!

She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? This was a big get for God.

I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. Let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar. Hair up, glasses off. Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk!

It was for me. I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette. Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!"

Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? Buster: It was a wild, wild ride. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror.

That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears. I made a huge tiny mistake. I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth. Fried cheese… with club sauce.

How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap? No. I was ashamed to be _seen_ with you. I like being with you.