You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. It's ok. You be with Yam.

Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!" It's sort of like going from prime rib to… I don't know… weird brother of prime rib. They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. That's my son, you pothead! I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship. This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! It's ok. You be with Yam.

Let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar. A night of heterosexual intercourse.

I believe you will find the dessert to be both engrossing and high-grossing! So we don't get dessert? Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently.

Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy. And THAT'S why you always leave a note.

There are dozens of us! Dozens! Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce.

How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene. They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter.

She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block! Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse. I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can. Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it.

She calls it a Mayonegg. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Hahahaha. Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care! You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. Chickens don't clap!

I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time. You stay on top of her, Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. What do you think about Sudden Valley? It sounds like a salad dressing, but for some reason I don't want to eat it. It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face. I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group?