Touché, Pandora. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white… ♪♪ Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers. Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. Well, I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans. GENE!! [screams] You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. Let me out that Queen.

A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. Go ahead, touch the cornballer. Let the great experiment begin!

Douche chill! Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too.

Those are balls. Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul. NO TOUCHING! But where did the lighter fluid come from? You stay on top of her, Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.

I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. It's ok. You be with Yam. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies. Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar.

She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I'm on the job. They frame my junk.

The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene. Well, yeah you've gotta lock that down. I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) You burn down the storage unit? Oh, most definitely.

This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Do you have any idea how often you say the word afraid? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. Dead Dove DO NOT EAT. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something?

It's a wonderful restaurant! Chickens don't clap! No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best? If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. That coat costs more than your house! I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. Oh, yeah. The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. COME ON!

I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same.