Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in 3 months. Come on! We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day. If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I'm on the job. Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can re-snare my mate. ♪♪ And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight! ♪♪

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar. You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! You stay on top of her Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. Annhog's coming?

They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. NO TOUCHING! Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Tobias is Queen Mary. Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar.

Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. I'M A MONSTER!! It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door. Hey, Dad. Look at you. You're a year older…and a year closer to death. Buster: Oh yeah, I guess that's kind of funny.

We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves. I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? I made a huge tiny mistake. A night of heterosexual intercourse. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. I know what an erection feels like, Michael.

Daddy horny, Michael. They frame my junk. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. There are dozens of us! DOZENS! I think I might have someone who's going to circumvrent the law. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.

WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. Quicken! Premiere! Family Love Michael. If that man's straight, then I am sober. How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap? Tobias is Queen Mary. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut.

NO TOUCHING! What a fun, sexy time for you. I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. Look what the homosexuals have done to me! You can't just comb that out and reset it? Well, yeah you've gotta lock that down. How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA? Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome.

It's sort of like going from prime rib to… I don't know… weird brother of prime rib. Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. NO TOUCHING!

Friday night. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear. If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd eat the inside of your ear. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you. I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group?