You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don't let go no matter what your mother tells you! Fun and failure both start out the same way. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Hey campers! Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead! Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper.

Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. Everybody dance… NOW. I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died.

She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. Daddy horny, Michael. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.

Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. Everybody dance NOW. You're losing blood, aren't you? Probably, my socks are wet.

Hey, it was one night of wild passion! Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body? Gob: I like to look in the mirror. I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children.

I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.

Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn? Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn? I hear the jury's still out on science. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy. But I'm the oldest. The matriarch if you will. You can control your bladder when you're dead!

I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. For the same reason you should believe a hundred dollar bill is no more than a hundred pennies! After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? "Circumvent." It means "to go around." Gob: The old "reach around." And the soup of the day is bread. Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad?

Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it.

Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car? Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white. It ain't easy being brown. ♪♪ We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.) This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. I should be in this Poof. I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts.