Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH! George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt? Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce.

NO TOUCHING! If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. I'm gonna go get sexy.

Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel?

A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties. Speaking of settling, how's Ann? If mother sees this, she will blow a cow. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. A million [bleep]ing diamonds! Quicken! Premiere! Daddy horny, Michael. There are dozens of us! Dozens!

Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well, then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! ♪♪ It ain't easy being white. It ain't easy being brown. ♪♪

She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. Let the great experiment begin!

No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. You're blowing my mind, Frank. Quicken! Premiere! I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. It's a wonderful restaurant!

Never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup…baby, I got a stew goin'. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb. Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I'm on the job. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

Let me out that Queen. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we? Michael, I'm your older brother. I'll never be proud of you. See for more good stuff. I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot." I'm afraid I'm with Michael on this one. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants.

She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth.