I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse.

I figured out a way to make money while I'm working! Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. I'm not a prostitute. Then I shall let you live! Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead.

The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere on the OC? I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. Heyyyyy, hermano. Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on!

Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas. Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. But I didn't take wasn't optimistic it could be done for an answer.

Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON.

Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores.

No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup. Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you.

In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acqusition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive. So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one.

I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar. It's OUR nausea. I see you've wasted no time in filling my seat hole.

Heart attack never stopped old big bear! In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acqusition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive.