They don't appreciate him. It's his glasses… they make him look like a lizard. Plus he's self-conscious. I cheated and I lied and I whored around. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. I figured out a way to make money while I'm working! When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman…

Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? She calls it a Mayonegg. I know she's a brownish area! With points! And I love her!

She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. In prison, you just have to close your eyes and take it, but here you have to close your eyes and give it. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently.

God knows they're squinters. Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something.

See for more good stuff. I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. No one's called him Baby Buster since high school. Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging.

You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench. Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? Never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup…baby, I got a stew goin'. You're a good guy, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don't know how I know that. I took four years of Spanish.

I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. Butterscotch! Want a lick? If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest.

You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. This was a big get for God. Do you have any idea how often you say the word afraid? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos.

He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb. There are dozens of us! Dozens!