I call it Tricks –- wait for it – Around The Office. It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door. It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb. Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day. Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo.

She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the T on it? That's a cross. Across from where? Daddy horny, Michael. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off.

I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect. Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. Perhaps an attic shall I seek. It's one banana Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars?

It was for me. I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong?

I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. One for the ladies. Are you at all concerned about an uprising? We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died.

A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! A million [bleep]ing diamonds! Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on!

I made a huge tiny mistake. How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? Of course. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful!

And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn't eat that, did you? I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass!

Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it. Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society.