He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. It's Sunday, but screw it — juice box time. That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut. Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! Chickens don't clap!

It was for me. I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette. Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn't do it. If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can re-snare my mate.

There are dozens of us! DOZENS! What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster. What's up, fizz-ellas. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day.

Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! See for more good stuff. These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere on the OC? YOU'RE the Chiclet! Not me. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw! I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?

I'm not a prostitute. Michael: Then I shall let you live! Family Love Michael. Waiting for the Emmys. BTW did you know won 6 Emmys and was still canceled early by Fox? COME ON. But where did the lighter fluid come from? For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, can I walk free of pain. If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. Chickens don't clap!

What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? I cheated and I lied and I whored around. Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. How am I supposed to find someone willing to go into that musty old claptrap? Are you aware of this? Coming soon. Indeed. My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw. Michael: I'm sorry, have we met?

Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! I figured out a way to make money while I'm working! The Army had half a day.

My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Hahahaha. It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car? So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." Am I in two thirds of a hospital room? A night of heterosexual intercourse. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up. For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, can I walk free of pain. It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb.

He's going to be all right. You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle.