Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas. I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!! Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere on the OC? Go ahead, touch the cornballer. How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA? Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you.

I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! I didn't mean who… I meant… her? Yeah, well, have you seen the new Mustang? You could hump that hood. Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench. Steve Holt? The moron jock? I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.

I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings. Queens. The King of Queens. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is.

You can always tell a Milford man. Annhog's coming? No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook.

If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. Shémale. You stay on top of her, Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. That's my son, you pothead!

We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect. I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) What have we always said is the most important thing? These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. And THAT'S why you always leave a note.

I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars? A Colombian cartel that WON'T kidnap and kill you. Ah, it is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship. If that man's straight, then I am sober. You're a good guy, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don't know how I know that. I took four years of Spanish. I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain." George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt?

I'M A MONSTER!! They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies. So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already!

They frame my junk. WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. Get rid of the Seaward. Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready. This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I'm on the job. It's sort of like going from prime rib to… I don't know… weird brother of prime rib.

Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob.