Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench. Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans."

I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. Barry: You said spanking. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad.

Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. Talk you off what, Pop Pop? It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. One of the guys told me to take my head out of my BOTTOM and get back to work…my BOTTOM! Hahahaha. I believe you will find the dessert to be both engrossing and high-grossing! So we don't get dessert?

Annyong. That was Tom Cruise, the actor. They said he was some kind of scientist. Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking. Oh…yeah…the guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It's just Mom and whores. Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? Buster: It was a wild, wild ride. That coat costs more than your house!

Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends. I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Annyong. Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me.

I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!!

I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot." ♪♪ It ain't easy being white… ♪♪ Why are you squeezing me with your body? She calls it a Mayonegg. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something.

I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Hair up, glasses off. One for the ladies. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo.

You're losing blood, aren't you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! Fried cheese… with club sauce. Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. I cheated and I lied and I whored around. Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. I should be in this Poof.