[Stabbing Gob] White power! Gob: I'm white! I may have committed some light treason. Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day. The Army had half a day. Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. Dead Dove DO NOT EAT.

Friday night. If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? Daddy horny, Michael. I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza.

What's up, fizz-ellas. Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ?

I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! I figured out a way to make money while I'm working! Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch.

Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead! If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.) I believe you will find the dessert to be both engrossing and high-grossing! So we don't get dessert?

Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. Pound is tic-tac-toe, right? Tobias is Queen Mary. Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around.

You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don't let go no matter what your mother tells you! Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. Say goodbye to THESE! Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!)

O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Are you sure this isn't her sister? Mrs Veal: What a lovely thing to say. Michael: That's an awful thing to say. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man.

Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest. Heart attack never stopped old Big Bear. I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear. We never had the chance to. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It's just Mom and whores. You're a good guy, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don't know how I know that. I took four years of Spanish. Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA?

I'm an ideas man, Michael. I think I proved that with "Fuck Mountain." It's sort of like going from prime rib to… I don't know… weird brother of prime rib. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter. Oh, COME ON! I'm sure Egg is a great person.