Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. Pound is tic-tac-toe right? I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot." Friday night. When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman…

We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves. Talk you off what, Pop Pop? They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar.

I made a huge tiny mistake. Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza.

However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. Heart attack never stopped old big bear! This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores.

If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. Dead Dove DO NOT EAT. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Heyyyyy campers! I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball! I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive!

Everybody dance NOW. Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes.

But I didn't take wasn't optimistic it could be done for an answer. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. I should be in this Poof. So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! You stay on top of her, Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard.

I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn't eat that, did you? This show was cancelled. I mean, COME ON. George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt?

One for the ladies. Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH! Please refrain from Mayoneggs during this salmonella scare. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. I hear the jury's still out on science. Turn this skiff around!

Heart attack never stopped old big bear! I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo.