Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. I'm not interested in you that way. Tobias: What way? Michael: Pick one. I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man.

I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Yeah, like anyone would want to R her.

In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best? You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Chickens don't clap! Chickens don't clap!

After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary and we don't need anymore lawsuits. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! Even though so many people in this office are begging for it. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. NO TOUCHING! WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON.

Touché, Pandora. Happy Franklin Friday. Perhaps an attic shall I seek. There are dozens of us! Dozens! In fact, it was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces.

I may have committed some light treason. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. - Lucille Bluth.

Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong? Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me.

We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.

I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship. Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON. Steve Holt? The moron jock? I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray. No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? I'm sure, wherever your father is, she loves you very much.

[Stabbing Gob] White power! Gob: I'm white! Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. I cheated and I lied and I whored around. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON.