God knows they're squinters. I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot." It's a wonderful restaurant! [climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun.

No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? M: I'll never forget your wedding. Even though so many people in this office are begging for it. Oh, yeah. The guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. COME ON!

Don't call my escorts whores. Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. It's a gaming ship. Excuse me while I circumvent you. The old reach-around. My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. Happy Franklin Friday. Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth. Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. Dead Dove DO NOT EAT. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass!

I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman..

In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acqusition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive. Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt? Are you at all concerned about an uprising?

She calls it a Mayonegg. This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. I hear the jury's still out on science. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. Yes, Annyong. Your name is Annyong! We all know you're Annyong! Say goodbye to THESE!

Turn this skiff around! For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, can I walk free of pain. Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre. Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. With spicy club sauce. Monday morning. COME ON!

They frame my junk. I may have committed some light treason. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. I should be in this Poof. Those are balls. Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. I'M A MONSTER!!

I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.)