I made a huge tiny mistake. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. You're blowing my mind, Frank.

In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acqusition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass! Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead! I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. Chickens don't clap! Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form.

What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook. GENE!! [screams]

I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. The Army had half a day. Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. "Circumvent." It means "to go around." Gob: The old "reach around." Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd eat the inside of your ear. Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores.

Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch!

What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. I didn't mean who… I meant… her?

Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons. Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a… she's the belle of the ball! No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best? Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it!

Quicken! Premiere! [climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar.

I'M A MONSTER!! Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse. There are dozens of us! Dozens! WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. I'll sacrifice anything for my children. So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals.

[climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. There are dozens of us! Dozens!