I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd eat the inside of your ear. Probably out there without a flipper, swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family. Look, you are playing adults…with fully formed libidos, not 2 young men playing grab-ass in the shower.

Sweet old thing. Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me. We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.) Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we? You might enjoy this. Oh. Em. Gee. That's amazing. The Army had half a day.

Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. I may have committed some light treason. Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) They don't allow you to have bees in here. [climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun. GENE!! [screams] One for the ladies.

I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Sorry, some of my students are arguing the significance of the shankbone on the seder plate. But we do not - NOT wag our genitals at one another to make a point. ♪♪ Big yellow joint, big yellow joint, I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint. ♪♪ What have we always said is the most important thing? I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear.

I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we? What do you think about Sudden Valley? It sounds like a salad dressing, but for some reason I don't want to eat it.

Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle. The Man Inside Me seems well reviewed.

And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere on the OC? Annyong.

She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC? She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome.

What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? But where did the lighter fluid come from? Say goodbye to THESE! She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is.

I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. A sea of waiters and no one will take a drink order. Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. - Lucille Bluth. Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. Actually, that was a box of Oscar's legally obtained medical marijuana. Primo bud. Real sticky weed. I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died. Buster's in what we like to call a light to no coma. In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap.