Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well, then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce. Pound is tic-tac-toe right? Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends. Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas. It's OUR nausea. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C.

I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. I don't appreciate the dry British humor. I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

Sister's my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter? No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. Butterscotch! Want a lick? Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar. There are dozens of us! DOZENS! Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay!

I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. This was a big get for God. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.)

I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. ♪♪ Somewhere… over the rainbow… there's another rainbow… ♪♪ I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. I'm gonna go get sexy. OH MY GOD, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE… sale. Oh, the burning! ♪♪ Amaaaaaaziiiing Graaaace ♪♪

I'M A MONSTER!! She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. - Lucille Bluth. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH!

Way to plant, Ann! Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well, then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay!

Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. Well, yeah you've gotta lock that down. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth. This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.

George Michael may be suffering from what we in the soft-sciences call Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or the "OC Disorder." This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. That coat costs more than your house! Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.

Did you enjoy your lunch, mom? You drank it fast enough. I didn't mean who… I meant… her? I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot."