You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass. What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!! If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. You can control your bladder when you're dead! I've made a huge tiny mistake.

You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing. What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!! Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? We all need to pick a day to try and make trend.

Steve Holt? The moron jock? Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. Oh…yeah…the guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! You stay on top of her Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too.

You mean the guy we're meeting with can't even grow his own hair? Come on! I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? Pound is tic-tac-toe right? What a fun, sexy time for you.

You can always tell a Milford man. You're a good guy, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don't know how I know that. I took four years of Spanish. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same. Quicken! Premiere! Of course. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful! Let the great experiment begin! Pound is tic-tac-toe right?

She calls it a mayonegg. I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.

This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! I thought the two of us could talk man-on-man. With spicy club sauce.

Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her. The CIA should've just Googled for his hideout, evidently. Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table.

If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. I don't care for Gob. Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul. Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends.

Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth?