You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd. Why are you squeezing me with your body? No. I was ashamed to be _seen_ with you. I like being with you. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen.

That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut. God knows they're squinters. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) What, so the guy we are meeting with can't even grow his own hair? COME ON!

She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. Who? i just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of ann. First I blow him, then I poke him.

She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking "albino" on the form. I hear the jury's still out on science. Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day. No one's called him Baby Buster since high school.

I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar.

I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. Oh…yeah…the guy in the…the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on! The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants.

Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold. Annyong. Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn?

Touché, Pandora. You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone.

I made a huge tiny mistake. You're blowing my mind, Frank. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we? Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I'd answer. I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona. Are you aware of this? Coming soon. Indeed.

How do you know Steve Holt? Are you in AA? No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? It walked on my pillow! And here you are coming out of your mother's third base! Her lawyers are claiming the seal is worth $250,000. And that's not even including Buster's Swatch. Fried cheese… with club sauce.