A trick is something a whore does for money…or candy. … or cocaine. ♪♪ It ain't easy being white. It ain't easy being brown. ♪♪ If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. I don't care for Gob. Let me out that Queen. It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face. Never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup…baby, I got a stew goin'.

Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing. We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook.

It seems like only yesterday you were bursting forth from your mother's fertile womb. I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. Are you sure this isn't her sister? Mrs Veal: What a lovely thing to say. Michael: That's an awful thing to say. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Great, now I'm gonna smell to high heaven like a tuna melt!

Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. God knows they're squinters. That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut. And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. He's going to be all right.

I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect. The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I? Actually, she died. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw.

That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut. The Army had half a day. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much!

Everybody dance NOW. You might wanna lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol. Yeah, I invited her. You said you wanted to spend time some with her. You said I was being an Ann hog. The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad.

Oh Gob, you could charm the black off a telegram boy. I'm gonna go get sexy.

This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON.

Can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? Hair up, glasses off. And THAT'S why you always leave a note. Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ? Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? There are dozens of us! Dozens! Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.