Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. Obviously this blue part here is the land. Please refrain from Mayoneggs during this salmonella scare. Tobias is Queen Mary. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong? It was the first taste of alcohol Buster had since he was nursing. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals.

They frame my junk. Douche chill! The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene. I am getting rid of this thing. It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo. The only person that gets Lucille this excited is Gene.

That's my son, you pothead! Everybody dance… NOW. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy.

Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. But where did the lighter fluid come from?

She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? I never thought I'd miss a hand so much!

If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Look at us, crying like a couple of girls on the last day of camp. We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could go wrong?

I see you've wasted no time in filling my seat hole. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Hey campers!

You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing. Up yours, granny! You couldn't handle it! Please refrain from Mayoneggs during this salmonella scare. Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think.

I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. And I am rock steady. No more dizzies. They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. Let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit. First I blow him, then I poke him.

I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Michael was concerned that he was caught in a lie about his family. The family was concerned that they were being confronted by a woman they had clubbed, drugged, and left on a bench.