A million [bleep]ing diamonds! Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. Hey, Dad. Look at you. You're a year older…and a year closer to death. Buster: Oh yeah, I guess that's kind of funny. NO TOUCHING! Fried cheese… with club sauce. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce. Chicken fingers… with spicy club sauce.

If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear.

Let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar. Pound is tic-tac-toe right? God knows they're squinters. It's sort of like going from prime rib to… I don't know… weird brother of prime rib. What do you think about Sudden Valley? It sounds like a salad dressing, but for some reason I don't want to eat it. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. ¡Soy loco por los Cornballs! I should be in this Poof.

If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.

I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. God knows they're squinters. Heart attack never stopped old big bear! She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. Those are balls. When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman…

The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza. Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. Heart attack never stopped old big bear. Heyyyy uncle father Oscar. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. It was the first taste of alcohol Buster had since he was nursing.

Also, your knee is on my heart. Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy. For the same reason you should believe a hundred dollar bill is no more than a hundred pennies! Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn?

No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Ann certainly has a great deal of Mass. [sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans."

I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy's a pro.) That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? I may have committed some light treason. Hair up, glasses off. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is.

Second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot, your wife is dead. It's one banana Michael, what could it cost, ten dollars?