Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot." I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! Say goodbye to THESE! She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome.

Ah coodle doodle doo, ah coodle doodle doo. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. This is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. A Colombian cartel that WON'T kidnap and kill you. Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying.

Everybody dance NOW. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! ps This one really cracks me up for some reason.

Those are balls. She's not that Mexican, Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Columbian or something. I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw.

Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer.

[sniffs hand] Oh, God. I'm going to run this through again on "pots and pans." Chickens don't clap! She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? They're not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can't guarantee their instincts won't kick in. A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money.

I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door. George Michael may be suffering from what we in the soft-sciences call Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or the "OC Disorder." You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk?

She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face. There are dozens of us! Dozens! Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter. Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. But where did the lighter fluid come from? Interfere? I ought to pull down your pants and spank your ass raw. Michael: I'm sorry, have we met? Today I learned this is a real place, tho more lush than the OC.

Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! O-kay, who'd like a banger in the mouth?

I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. We need a name. Maybe "Operation Hot Mother." No, let's try to top that. (They never did.) They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind what, above five homos. Even though so many people in this office are begging for it.