But where did the lighter fluid come from? Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on! Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much!

You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh. One for the ladies. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter. Chickens don't clap! I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut.

I should be in this Poof. I'm a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? [climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun.

The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. It walked on my pillow! I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. That's my son, you pothead! It's a wonderful restaurant! No. I was ashamed to be _seen_ with you. I like being with you. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. I'll sacrifice anything for my children. I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh!

I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. What do you think about Sudden Valley? It sounds like a salad dressing, but for some reason I don't want to eat it.

This objectification of women has to stop. It's just Mom and whores. Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? It's Sunday, but screw it — juice box time. Well, I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties.

Let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar. It's a jetpack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong? It's Sunday, but screw it — juice box time. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute! Let me out that Queen. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. And guess what else is back. [slow wink] My breakfast? My friskiness. Mama horny Michael.

Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her. I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. In prison, you just have to close your eyes and take it, but here you have to close your eyes and give it. A Colombian cartel that WON'T kidnap and kill you. Speaking of settling, how's Ann? Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. I was set up. By the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C.

Operation Hot Mother. That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad?