Chaw-chee, chaw-chee chaw-chee! Coo coo ca cha! Ah coodle doodle do Caw ca caw, caw ca caw. Popcorn shrimp… with club sauce.

What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Mr. Zuckerkorn, you've been warned about touching. You said spanking. Wow, this is the best free scrapbooking class I've ever taken! ps This one really cracks me up for some reason. There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies. Aren't you the sweetest thing, spending time with what's left of your uncle.

Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook. I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense. With spicy club sauce.

You need to do more with Rita. Believe me, I'd like to. Hola, is Rosa still alive? No? Well this is not my day. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

You can always tell a Milford man. Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper.

I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. There are dozens of us! Dozens! Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ?

Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! Caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw, caw ca caw. I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in 3 months. Come on! Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass.

Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. I'm in Vegas this week and would like to point out the Blue Man Group is *actually* hiring. The support group?

I [bleeped] the business model. Yeah, she had all kinds of orgasms. If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can re-snare my mate. [Stabbing Gob] White power! Gob: I'm white! I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals. You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'. The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic's hook was his twisted call… Hey campers! He… she… what's the difference? Oh hear, hear. In the dark, it all looks the same.

Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? Michael was having brunch with Sally Sitwell at a restaurant called Skip Church's Bistro. In addition to brunch, the restaurant was known for an item on the menu called the "Skip's Scramble", an omelet that contained everything on the menu. Do not order the Skip's Scramble. Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON. Her lawyers are claiming the seal is worth $250,000. And that's not even including Buster's Swatch. Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar.