Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free. Really? Did "nothing" cancel? First I blow him, then I poke him.

I guess you can say I'm buy-curious. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. You boys know how to shovel coal? Yeah, like anyone would want to R her. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! Michael: And yet you didn't notice her body? Gob: I like to look in the mirror. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one.

Douche chill! So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary and we don't need anymore lawsuits. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? What's gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? It looks like you've been looking for dragons… in the future. Stack the chafing dishes outside by the mailbox. I'm on the job. You can always tell a Milford man. You stay on top of her Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard.

Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it! No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you.

Touché, Pandora. Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder? Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. Heart attack never stopped old Big Bear. I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear. We never had the chance to. Heyyyyyy, Uncle Father Oscar. If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up.

Fun and failure both start out the same way. Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON.

I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run..so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. A night of heterosexual intercourse.

George Bush doesn't care about black puppets. Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. My brother wasn't optimistic it could be done, but I didn't take "wasn't optimistic it could be done" for an answer. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. I just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. I'm gonna go get sexy. Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.

Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! Pound is tic-tac-toe right?

He's going to be all right. I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich. Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. [climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun. When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman…