Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. Tobias is Queen Mary. Also, your knee is on my heart. ¡Soy loco por los Cornballs!

Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Oh, like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist", yes. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear. Oh, yeah, the guy in the the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in three months. Come on!

When a.. man.. needs to prove to a woman that he's actually.. [pause].. When a man loves a woman.. I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture. A million ****ing diamonds! Or it could be your colon. I'd want to get in there and find some answers. You need to do more with Rita. Believe me, I'd like to. You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.

Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength? It's ok. You be with Yam.

No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. In the mid '90s, Tobias formed a folk music band with Lindsay and Maebe which he called Dr. Funke's 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution. The group was underwritten by the Natural Food Life Company, a division of Chem-Grow, an Allen Crayne acqusition, which was part of the Squimm Group. Their motto was simple: We keep you alive. No. I was ashamed to be _seen_ with you. I like being with you. What a fun, sexy time for you. Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. You need to do more with Rita. Believe me, I'd like to. They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter.

Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH! Absolutely. And we're going to be here every day. I don't care if it takes from now till the end of Shrimpfest.

And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON. You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door. WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON.

Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead! God knows they're squinters.

What have we always said is the most important thing? I hear the jury's still out on science.

I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? I'll never forget your wedding. First I blow him, then I poke him. "Circumvent." It means "to go around." Gob: The old "reach around."