You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh. Shémale. Also, your knee is on my heart.

Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. Don't call my escorts whores. I guess you can say I'm buy-curious. I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. Michael, look, this has got to stop. I mean, flattered? Yes. Interested? Not tonight. Buster, you remember when we were kissing last night? Buster: It was a wild, wild ride.

Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. I'll have a vodka rocks. (Mom, it's breakfast time.) And a piece of toast. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. Boy, I sure feel like a Mary without a Peter and a Paul. She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it.

However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. Do the right thing here. String this blind girl along so that dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society. So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us.

Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her. I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. It's a wonderful restaurant! Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. We all need to pick a day to try and make trend.

I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. Yeah, like anyone would want to R her.

We need a name. Maybe 'Operation Hot Mother'. If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! I know, I just call her Annabelle cause she's shaped like a…she's the belle of the ball! A-coodle-doodle-doo. A-coodle-doodle-doo. No, Pop-pop does not get a treat. I just bought you a f**king pizza.

I hear the jury's still out on science. That's my son, you pothead! That was Tom Cruise, the actor. Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist. Oh, I don't have any drugs for sale, unless… did you want me to follow you to your car? I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.

I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can. No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is.

Everybody dance… NOW. The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. Gob: You didn't eat that, did you? I've made a huge tiny mistake.