There's been a lot of lying in this family. And a lot of love! More lies. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table.

And don't make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. Go ahead, touch the cornballer. A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine. And THAT'S why you always leave a note. What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter.

Talk you off what, Pop Pop? Don't ask "Can I"… ask "I Can!" Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. NO TOUCHING!

Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit. No, she's in it. She's a contestant. It's sorta like an inner beauty pageant. Ah, there it is. I don't appreciate the dry British humor.

Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. I may have committed some light treason. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead! So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary, and we don't need anymore lawsuits. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch!

It's as Ann as the nose on Plain's face. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. Coo coo ca chaw. Coo coo ca chaw. One for the ladies. Do you have any idea how often you say the word afraid? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. He's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one. Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch.

So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! What about macaroni – let me finish – salad? ♪♪ And the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Sky rockets in flight! Afternoon delight! ♪♪ No one's called him Baby Buster since high school. Heyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear. Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can.

It's, like, Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool? Yeah, I don't have a husband. I call it Swing City. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? The only thing I found in the fridge was a dead dove in a bag. I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.

She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB. I made a huge tiny mistake. No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough.

Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of interoffice [bleep] or [bleep] or finger[bleep] or [bleep]sting or [bleep] or even [bleep]. Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed?