So you take your mom to work every day? Bummer. Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? It's, like, die already! Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. Let's see some bananas and nuts! If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd eat the inside of your ear. Wine only turns to alcohol if you let it sit.

No one's called him Baby Buster since high school. You stay on top of her, Buddy. Don't be afraid to ride her. Hard. Great, now I'm gonna smell to high heaven like a tuna melt! Let the great experiment begin! There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! I'm afraid I'm with Michael on this one. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants.

Yo quiero leche. Yo quiero leche de madre. I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. In prison, you just have to close your eyes and take it, but here you have to close your eyes and give it. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example. I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen. Make love in your *own* hand, Mother!

I didn't mean who… I meant… her? You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. We all need to pick a day to try and make trend.

I'm afraid I'm with Michael on this one. The guy runs a prison, he can have any piece of ass he wants. I've got a nice hard cot with his name on it. You'd do that to your own brother? I said "cot." That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut. I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, so now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. I just haven't had sex in a month. You know, you've been here two months. It's hard to gauge time.

Well, they got the Asian right… "hotties" might be a stretch. No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. You want to have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night, start messing with your junk? They want to break his legs. It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing.

A night of heterosexual intercourse. Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time.

Te quiero. English, please. I love you! Great, now I'm late. If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can re-snare my mate. Fun and failure both start out the same way. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? M: I'll never forget your wedding. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose? You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh. Speaking of settling, how's Ann?

Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. I never thought I'd miss a hand so much! Probably out there without a flipper, swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family. I could use a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and have to go into a controlled slide. Happy. I'm not a prostitute. Michael: Then I shall let you live! Ah, it is a rock, though. Should beat everything. Gob: There's not a lot of logic to it. Yeah, like I'm going to take a whiz through this $5,000 suit. COME ON.

For the same reason you should believe a hundred dollar bill is no more than a hundred pennies! I've always been deeply passionate about nature. Perhaps you remember Neuterfest? M: I'll never forget your wedding. Operation Hot Mother. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had.