I don't want no part of yo tight-ass country-club, ya freak bitch! Are you aware of this? Coming soon. Indeed.

It was the first taste of alcohol Buster had since he was nursing. That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns.

Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) Go ahead, touch the Cornballer. Probably out there without a flipper, swimming around in a circle, freaking out his whole family. You burn down the storage unit? Oh, most definitely. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

Whenever she'd change clothes, she'd make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? You just made a fool out of yourself in front of T-Bone. However, she mistook the drowsy eye alcohol warning for a winking eye alcohol suggestion. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we. Heart attack never stopped old big bear.

If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. But where did the lighter fluid come from? Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. He also said some things African American-y wasn't ready to hear. I cheated and I lied and I whored around. No, I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being WITH you. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears.

Operation Hot Mother. I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh! Oh, yeah, the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for a guy who doesn't make that in 3 months. Come on! No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough. Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.

A night of heterosexual intercourse. The worst that could happen is that I could spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit. COME ON. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Well, obviously, I'm not a big guy. I'm not a Carl Weathers, par example.

Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well, then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? Now, do you wanna steer, or are you too old to sit on your Pop's lap and drive? George Michael, you want to put your head down there by his drainage shunt? So maybe you could start jete-ing, and stop je-terrorizing me! Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz. So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer. WHY was this show cancelled? I mean, COME ON.

Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. If I look like a man who made love to his wife last night – it's because I almost did. That coat costs more than your house!

How could I say no to the woman who gave me chlamydia? God knows they're squinters. I made a huge tiny mistake. Pound is tic-tac-toe, right? And guess what else is back. [slow wink] My breakfast? My friskiness. Mama horny Michael. Why are you squeezing me with your body? Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. I should be in this Poof.