Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. I'll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn't a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals.

Got a big ass room at the travelodge. What a fun, sexy time for you. A sea of waiters and no one will take a drink order. I should be in this Poof. Butterscotch! Want a lick? Let the great experiment begin! Wow. We're just blowing through nap time, aren't we.

Sorry, some of my students are arguing the significance of the shankbone on the seder plate. But we do not - NOT wag our genitals at one another to make a point. I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block! For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out, can I walk free of pain. I'll sacrifice anything for my children. Let me out that Queen. Hair up, glasses off. For the same reason you should believe a hundred dollar bill is no more than a hundred pennies! Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on!

Well, I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it's hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. She's a girl, I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen. Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay.

What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster!! Someone order 140 pounds of upper body strength?

She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot… your wife is dead! Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? There are dozens of us! Dozens! No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best?

Smack of ham. What is she doing at a beauty pageant? Is she running the lights or something? Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror.

You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us. What a fun, sexy time for you. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Why are you squeezing me with your body? It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you. There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out.

Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends. This is not what it looks like. It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence. Annhog's coming? I hear the jury's still out on science. Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?

If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob. Today I learned this is a real place, tho more lush than the OC. You burn down the storage unit? Oh, most definitely. Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you. You're blowing my mind, Frank. It's ok. You be with Yam. Are all the guys in here… you know? George Sr.: No, not all of them. Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.