Mister gay is bleeding! Mister gay! A sea of waiters and no one will take a drink order. Yeah, like I'm going to spill coffee all over this $3,000 suit? Come on! If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. Dad would stage elaborate situations using a one-armed man to teach us lessons.

She calls it a mayonegg. Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch! I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? Even though sooooo many people in this office are begging for it. So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us. Let's make Ann the backup, okay? Very good way to think about her, as a backup.

How about a turtle? I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. She's always got to wedge herself in the middle of us so that she can control everything. Yeah. Mom's awesome. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape horn?

If you don't start pulling your weight around here its going to be shape up, or…ship up. I run a pretty tight ship around here. With a pool table. No one's called him Baby Buster since high school. [climbing under trampoline] This shall keep me safe from the hot Mexican sun. Each year, Oscar attempts the four hundred mile walk from Newport Beach to Berkeley, California. In the twelve years that he's attempted this, he's never made it farther than UC Irvine. I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. Look at us, crying like a bunch of girls on the last day of camp. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up.

Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere on the OC? Hair up, glasses off. Gosh Mom… after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

So maybe you could start jete-ing, and stop je-terrorizing me! That's my son, you pothead! Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! It looks like you've been looking for dragons… in the future. Make love in your *own* hand, Mother! Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her.

I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died. You gave us cereal in an ashtray. I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive!

Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. A million [bleep]ing diamonds! I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you'll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block! Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold right here on this boardwalk than anywhere in the OC?

Daddy horny, Michael. ♪♪ Big yellow joint, big yellow joint, I'll meet you down at the big yellow joint. ♪♪

There are dozens of us! Dozens! We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook.