If I make this comeback, I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive! There are dozens of us! Dozens! Great, now I'm gonna smell to high heaven like a tuna melt! Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty, as a spectacular protest. A…. ?

Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. So maybe you could start jete-ing, and stop je-terrorizing me!

Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. When a man needs to prove to a woman that he's actually… When a man loves a woman… No, Pop-pop does not get a treat, I just brought you a [bleep]ing pizza. You were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd.

I call it Tricks –- wait for it – Around The Office. Obviously this blue part here is the land. If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally. [earlier] I don't care for Gob.

No borders, no limits… go ahead, touch the Cornballer… you know best? There are dozens of us! Dozens! So did you see the new Poof? His name's Gary and we don't need anymore lawsuits. Even though so many people in this office are begging for it. If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?

Everybody dance… NOW. The Man Inside Me seems well reviewed. After all, why should you go to jail for a crime somebody else noticed? Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. Let me give that oatmeal some brown sugar. I'll buy you a hundred George Michaels that you can teach to drive!

And the soup of the day is bread. I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can. Although George Michael had only got to second base, he'd gone in head first, like Pete Rose. Steve Holt? The moron jock? The Man Inside Me seems well reviewed. If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break. But it wasn't. Nellie is blowing them all AWAY.

She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. I'm gonna build me an airport, put my name on it. Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it. It tastes kind of like sad. I hear the jury's still out on science. Make love in your *own* hand, Mother!

Happy Franklin Friday. A night of heterosexual intercourse. So Ann, the question is, do you want a man or a boy? I know how I would answer.

Look, you are playing adults…with fully formed libidos, not 2 young men playing grab-ass in the shower. I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper. And I wouldn't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking. That's not what I WAS thinking. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair.