God knows they're squinters. Touché, Pandora. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for GOB. Turn this skiff around! Mom always taught us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted. This is not me encouraging you to go here and write a review. No.

If this tableau I recreate, perhaps I can re-snare my mate. Yeah, that's a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development. (Hey. That's the name of the show!) Could it be love? I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite… like my heart is getting hard. I call it Tricks –- wait for it – Around The Office. I may have committed some light treason.

I'm foolish and I'm funny and I'm needy. Am I needy? Are you sure I'm not needy? 'Cause I feel needy sometimes. Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. Buster, what are you doing with mother's rape-horn? You need to do more with Rita. Believe me, I'd like to.

Get rid of the Seaward. Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready. Heyyyyyy Uncle Father Oscar. Let's see some bananas and nuts!

Those are balls. Friend of mine from college. He also has a boat tho not called the Seaward. Who? i just dont want him to point out my cracker ass in front of ann. I deceived you, mom. Tricked makes it sound like we have a playful relationship. It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it. Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it'd be a good chance to rub off on her. I think that's one of Mom's little fibs, you know, like I'll sacrifice anything for my children.

A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine. I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. Quicken! Premiere!

Oh by the way, Doctor said no kissing her on the face for one week. I was like make it two weeks, see if I care! Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit? No, no, it's pronounced a-nal-ra-pist. Turn this skiff around!

She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. Suddenly he's too much of a big-shot to brush mother's hair. Can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it's in a terrifying neighborhood? Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Wait. Are you telling me you have a multi-stage trick with hidden identities? I've used one adjective to describe myself. What is it? I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think.

I hate the Wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. She keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The… something of my ways. Wisdom? It's probably wisdom. I mean, it's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars?

I don't appreciate the dry British humor. Don't leave your Uncle T-bag hanging. Stop licking my hand, you horse's ass. I'M A MONSTER!! You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. There are dozens of us! DOZENS! She's not 'that Mexican', Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something.